The Body Figments
by teaonthestairs
Summary: CO-WRITTEN WITH XANYA-FOREVER. Insights into the characters thoughts throughout the events of ‘The Body.’ Oh Deary
1. Buffy

**The Body- Figments **

**By Rosie**

_Summery: __Insights into the characters thoughts throughout the events of 'The Body'___

_Spoilers: Anything up to The Body is game…_

Disclaimer: People if you think these Characters belong to me I suggest you go check and see what's in your water. These characters belong to people way over in America you know Joss and what such, go hassle them….

Every one Amelia (Xanya-forever) is my goddess, Not only did she agree to waste her own time helping me she agreed to Beta, and she Wrote the Anya chapter… Cos she like the Anya expert… go check out her stuff…

_Xander is a gorgeous hunk of a man with a smooth hairless chest._

**…**

**Buffy.**

**_"_****_We're not supposed to move the body!"_**

****

The Body, is that all she is now? 

Just a body, skin, teeth, hair and bone…    

Nothing left on the women who brought me into this world, raised me, healed my cuts and sang me asleep except… a Body?

Where did she go?

Is she up there… in heaven… is she with grandma and Jenny. Is she watching me?

I have to tell Dawn…I have to protect and look after Dawn

But who will look after me?

She left me; they always leave me, Daddy, Angel, and Riley and now Mommy… They leave me all alone, by myself…

I'm scared of being alone…

Dawn, 

I have Dawn. She'll never leave me… She needs me

They didn't…

Her skin was so cold, like I am inside. I wonder if I'll every get warm… 

I'm cold and alone…. 


	2. Dawn

**The Body- Figments **

**By Rosie**

****

_Disclaimer: People if you think these Characters belong to me I suggest you go check and see what's in your water. These characters belong to people way over is America you know Joss and what such, go hassle them…._

_Ok everybody I'm not going to ruin this new thing I've got going and not praise Amelia… So I won't… Amelia is my everything…_   Onto the story… 

**…**

**Dawn**

**"No, it's not true. No, you're a liar, she's fine!"**

She's Fine.

 Buffy's lying… Moms fine, she'll come and pick me up and I'll tell her about stupid Kirsty and she'll laugh and buy me ice cream. And then we will have Book Club and watched TV until she realises its late and she'll send me to bed.

She's Fine.

Buffy's lying… Moms Fine, When I finally get a boyfriend, she'll be there to tease me… and him.  She'll embarrass me with 'The Talk.'  And lecture me about staying up to late and braking curfew. She'll comfort me when we brake up.

She's Fine.  

Buffy's lying… Moms fine, it was a mistake. Mom will be there when I get married; she'll fuss about my make-up and cry all through the ceremony. She'll be the fussy grandmother who spoilers her grandchildren.

She's Fine.

Buffy's lying… Moms fine, I know it, she's fine. She's not dead. She said she was fine!  Lying Buffy… Mommy does fine… please mommy…please.   


	3. Xander

The Body- Figments 

**By Rosie and Amelia**

Disclaimer: People if you think these Characters belong to me I suggest you go check and see what's in your water. These characters belong to people way over in America you know Joss and what such, go hassle them….

Once again I would like to worship Amelia cos she rocks, She's my wall… I mean I bounce things off of her…. Metaphorically, I metaphorically bounce ideas of off her..… 

and she Betas me. My stories I mean.

Oh hey, I just want to thank both HonorH and Leanne8582 for reminding me twice to change Mummy to Mommy; I finally did it, replacing Dawn and Buffy with the thing… anyhow THANK YOU!  

**…******

**"Let 'em give me a ticket."**

Who cares if I have a ticket? 

  
Who cares if I have to pay money to some stupid people I've never met? 

  
They've never met Joyce. 

  
They don't know about her... they don't know about Buffy, or Dawn.... they don't even care.   
  
Joyce cared, she didn't turn me away when my dearest family (note the sarcasm) got into one of their drunken fights and I needed somewhere to stay.   
  
I spent most of my teenage years there… braiding Willow's hair with Buffy while we watched unintelligible Hindi soap operas.   
  
And her food... she sure made some good thanksgiving dinners for me, again, without my family.   
  
Family, what a joke. My parents are nothing more then donors… my real family is   
Them; Anya, Buffy, Willow, Giles, Tara, Joyce and the Dawnster 

  
Oh God Dawn….   
What's going to happen to her now?   
  
Sometimes I wish Joyce didn't know about Buffy. I wish she'd never found out. It probably caused her sleepless nights, and she didn't need any of them.   
  
I remember the time… no too soon to think about that.   
  
I told her I was a conquistador. I hope she's comfortable now.   
  
Anya's still talking, still asking questions. How am I supposed to know? I've never faced death before.   
Well I have, almost every day, living here on the good old mouth of hell.   
But not like this, not with someone… Someone I loved. 

  
There was Jesse, my best bud apart from Will. But we never went through this. He died unnaturally, not from human causes.   
  
Pounding the big evil won't solve this one – there's nothing Buffy can do to bring her mom back.   
If only there was something... I have to do something. 

  
I feel like I need to rip apart whoever's responsible for Joyce, but I can't. 

  
I can't do anything. 

  
I'm just useless Xander again, 

  
The Zeppo.   
  
_Author's Note: This is from the other author, Xanya-Forever. This lovely Xander piece was done by Rosie and I. Like a squash court with walls and bouncing balls… got a tad confusing. Anyway, on to the point I'm making. Wait, I don't know if there's a point, I just like doing Author's Notes. Well I suppose that reviews would extra lovely, so review hehehehehe._


	4. Interlude Willow's Parody

The Body- Figments 

**By Rosie and Amelia**

**Summery: A harmless Parody of Willows thoughts during The Body.**

****

_Disclaimer: People if you think these Characters belong to me I suggest you go check and see what's in your water. These characters belong to people way over is America you know Joss and what such, go hassle them…._

Oh and just so you know, Joyce is only colour blind in our 'verse. So don't go thinking she was colour blind in the show though that would be quiet amusing…****

Author's Note: Both Rosie and I were completely stuck when it came to writing Willow. Not that I don't like her, go Willow (though early Willow is definitely better than late Willow. Kennedy, what was the thinking going out with that thing???) but she's extremely hard to write her. Anyway, I got fed up and this is supposed to be funny so don't think you're laughing at my efforts at being angsty. That is, if you do feel the need to laugh. Oh yeah, this is Xanya-Forever or Meals as my pettums Rose calls me, by the way. Please review, it's my first stab at humorous kinda stuff. 

**…**

**"Wish I had the blue."**

Joyce liked it so. I had it on that time and she said it matched my eyes, which is kind of funny seeing my eyes are green… 

**I wore it just last week. **

Oh goodness, - Joyce. It feels like I'm sinking through the floor with embarrassment, my face must be so blotchy from crying... Whoops, wrong analogy. It feels like my stomach has been left on the ground when I've gone up in a lift. Sick, and twisted on the inside with grief. 

**Did I put it in the wash? **

I'm not trying to look good with the clothes, I'm not. That's not why I keep changing them. Do you understand? Tara, baby, do you? 

**No, I didn't. **

I have to be strong, to help Buffy, and Dawn. Strong like an Amazon. But not with the huge manly upper arms muscles. No, off the image thing… I have to be strong on the inside, filled with lead and, well I'm upset and I can't think of another strong thing, but I have to be like that. 

**Did I lend it to Tara? **

I know she's not my mother, but that doesn't help. My mother didn't even notice when I had my hair cut... sure, Joyce couldn't tell what colour my eyes were, but she was colour blind so 

she had an excuse. 

**No, she would have told me. **

Joyce was an art gallery owner, and she was colour blind. That just shows how brave she was, how committed to the business. I respect her for that, more than I respect my own mother, who had full colour vision. Sheila, even her name wasn't as beautiful as the name Joyce. Joyce's name has the word joy in it. Will there be any more joy now that she's gone? 

**Did Joyce steal it? **

How will Dawn survive? She and Joyce were so close, loved each other so much. They were as thick as thieves. They were thieves, in fact. If Joyce didn't take my blue shirt, and I'd bet my last bushel of Lethe's Bramble that she did, then it was Dawn. 

**How will I get it back? **

Without… gone… loss… grief… 

What will I do without it? My blue shirt is gone. Forever. And, and, and Joyce liked it so. She should have known, should have trusted me enough to tell me. I would have worn it next time I saw her. She didn't need to steal it. 

**I wish I had the blue.**

**…**

Review please….****


	5. Anya

The Body- Figments 

**By Rosie and Amelia**

Disclaimer: People if you think these Characters belong to me I suggest you go check and see what's in your water. These characters belong to people way over in America you know Joss and what such, go hassle them….

Ok Guys this is Amelia chapter… Anya is like her Queen so I couldn't not let her write it…. Give all your praise to her… 

**…**

**Anya**

**"****And, and Xander's crying and not talking, and, and I was having fruit punch, and I thought, well, Joyce will never have any more fruit punch....****"**

Joyce liked fruit punch. She told me. She told me how she when she was a little girl, she made it with lemons from her tree, and forgot to add sugar. That's stupid, everyone knows you have to add sugar. It sweetens the whole thing, it makes the fruit punch real fruit punch. But Joyce didn't know, she couldn't know everything – she was only human. 

Humans die. 

Did I do that? Did I kill people who were innocent and didn't know about the sugar? Did I do to their families what this has done to us? Xander, my big strong Xander with the large upper arms and the always smiling eyes is crying. 

And I'm crying. 

I'm crying about Joyce like she was my mother. I don't even remember my mother, but I do remember her making me feel better. When I was younger, smaller, shorter and felt ill, she would comfort me. Joyce never comforted me, not like that, but I saw her with Dawn. 

She was loved. 

Sometimes when they thought I wasn't watching, I would stare at Joyce and Dawn. Since being stuck on this mortal plane I haven't met many families. There's Xander's but they're usually drunk and display violent tendencies in public. Joyce and Dawn weren't a real family, not joined by blood and made with sex, but they made each other feel better. 

It's not fair. 

Dawn… what's she going to do? Will she be stolen by child services and forced to work as an underpaid servant in a dingy basement, making cheap tracksuits? 

I don't understand. 

Why won't they tell me? They've been through this before, they understand death, they've been humans their whole lives with human relatives who die all the time. Why won't Xander hug me and tell me that everything's going to be alright? That, that Dawn and Buffy will get their mum back, that he didn't break his hand when punching the wall in a vain effort to blame someone, that Glory isn't trying to kill us all, that… that… that I won't die. 

I'm human. 

I can die. I will die. I haven't got long left, about fifty years before I become senile and wrinkly and forgetful and have hairs on my chin like a beard. What if Xander dies first? How will I go through it? 

I hate death. 

_Author's Note: I, Xanya forever, wrote this one. I'd like to add a little note to the "anonymous" reviewer who made a choice little comment about the Buffy chapter. How dare you flame my little Rosie???? It's very rude. Also, the whole point of fanfic is that you use characters that already exist. And why were you on a fanfic site if you find it pathetic? I would be rude back, but my sister just said to me that an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind, so I will refrain, but you watch out cos I'll stalk you hehehehehe. Ahem, sorry for that little outburst…. _

_Everyone else, please review so we know we're being read._


	6. Interlude Dr Kriegel

The Body- Figments 

**By Rosie and Amelia **

Disclaimer: People if you think these Characters belong to me I suggest you go check and see what's in your water. These characters belong to people way over in America you know Joss and what such, go hassle them….

_Hey, this is just a weird brake between characters, its weird and… Anyhow thanks go out as always to Meals, you still bestill my heart possum and Cress who I'm talking on the phone while writing this (multitasking!) cos She's in her words a 'nothing just blankness' but in mine a little ray of sunshine_

_Hmm ok I'm in the weirdest mood… On to the story_  

**…**

Interlude Dr. Kriegel   

**"Okay, I've examined your mother's body."******

The look on her face on all of their faces, the totally desperate need of hope, was one I had seen many a time.

The little one, Dawn I remember her name interrupts with the question someone never fails to ask.

I continue as if I never heard.

**"The on-site report seems more or less accurate. Your mother did have what looks like an aneurysm. A sudden haemorrhaging from a ruptured arterial vessel near the, uh ... where the tumor was"**

This is the worst part breaking down the facts, telling the fails in modern science.

**"Sometimes these things are detectable, and sometimes they're not."**

The mistakes.

**"Joyce was aware of the possibility of a rupture, and the effects. She didn't even get on the phone, so clearly this was very sudden.****"**

Removing the blame, comforting. 

"She, uh, may have felt a little nausea, and probably passed out as it happened." 

Reassuring.

"I doubt there was much pain, and ... even if someone had been by her side..."

Easing the guilt. 

**"...It's doubtful that this could have been dealt with in time."******

Guilt that they hadn't or couldn't do anything 

"Absolutely."

How many times had I said these practiced lines to ease the guilt and hopefully the pain of a loved ones passing.

"Well, there, uh, there'll be some forms, and some decisions you'll need to make."

The Father? The guardian takes over, like me he eases the burden from their shoulders and gives himself something to do.

On more thing… then I can go..

"We will need you to ... sign a couple of release forms."   

And mourn privately for another life I wasn't able to save.

_Author's Note: Hey there little cherubs. We're very sorry we haven't been able to update, but Rosie's computer had a little problem and she lost every single file on it!! Yes, even her delicious Buffy pictures grrrrr. Anyway, thank you very much for reviewing, especially HonorH and Leanne8582, please keep doing it! I'll see you guys next chapter.___


	7. Giles

**The Body- Figments**

**By Rosie and Amelia**

****

_Disclaimer: People if you think these Characters belong to me I suggest you go check and see what's in your water. These characters belong to people way over is America you know Joss and what such, go hassle them…._

Hello my lovely reader… This is the second last chapter, and I'm a bit upset, I think more Fanfictions are in order yes? Anyhow as always Amelia is my very crazy Anya Obsessed goddess and Cress my dearest little spike drooler. Everyone give her a round of applause she wrote half of this chapter well more the half actually so give her some spike pictures (preferably glossy) and some nice reviews. She very shy.. 

**_…_******

**Giles**

**"Uh, Buffy, why don't you let me handle those as much as I can."**

I need to do this,

I have to do this. To distract myself from the fact that another person I love has died.

Another body to bury

I have buried so many people.

My mother

My sister

Jenny

And now Joyce.

And I think I will miss Joyce the most.

Miss the way she was the other adult, never childish, never needed my care. Had rejected my care... never my responsibility…

Sometimes I don't want to be the responsible one.

But that's  my job, isn't it? To be the responsible one, be the to watch and advise and ensure that everything ran smoothly But sometimes I don't always want to be the one who looked after everyone.

Sometimes I don't want to be the adult.

But that's not going to happen. Not know..

But sometimes being the responsible one and being the adult at least gave me something to hide behind, and I was thankful for that.   
Because however sorry I felt for Buffy and Dawn, at least their mourning was simple. I knew how strange it would look if I threw myself on the ground and cried as Dawn had, and as Buffy surely must in the time to come.   
I have a smokescreen of good old reliable Giles, stiff-upper-lip Giles, staunch, stoic Giles

I will mourn in my own time.

Probably with a stiff drink... or two, Preferably whiskey.

It takes the edge off things, for a little while at least.   
Makes the long nights shorter...or at least fuzzy. It was something that I've done more and more since Jenny.

Jenny… god..

I still dream of her, her eyes, her hands, her voice…

When I'd come over to the America, to Sunnydale, I hadn't expected to get involved with the Slayer's other life, with her friends or with her family.

I never expected to get a life outsider of being a watcher… but I did.

I had lost myself for so long, lost myself with in exterior image of a perfect watcher that when Buffy come bouncing into my life I didn't know how to deal with her.

But she and Willow, Xander, Dawn even Anya and Tara have wiggled themselves into my heart.

Joyce too holds a place in my heart thought I doubt she ever knew, or will ever know. 

That time on the Police car. Though it was mind blowing never really meant something to me. Sex is good fun, and a vital thing in this world, but it isn't something I take seriously.

Not like my duties to Buffy and Dawn. Now, more than ever, they are what matters.

If I was their father, and Joyce was there mother… well now they live in a single parent family. One I swore I'd never inflict on any child of mine. Probably why I refrained from having children.


	8. Tara

The Body- Figments 

**By Rosie and Amelia **

Disclaimer: People if you think these Characters belong to me I suggest you go check and see what's in your water. These characters belong to people way over in America you know Joss and what such, go hassle them….

Last chapter… sniff sniff, Ok lots of hugs and kisses goes out to all my reviewers, especially HonorH and Leanne8582 who gave me lovely encouragement from the beginning…   you are all wonderful people… or things in Meals case. 

Anyhow as always Special thanks goes out to Amelia, without you bad things would have happened, mainly me giving up or kicking my computer. So Meals you get many Anya thanks and an award for being fabulous, also one of these days I'll find Xander/Nick and lock him in a box for you pleasure…And thank you my darling for all that wonderful Beta-ing, I'll pay you in kisses…  

 and Cress, if I could I would get you Spike….  For my thanks

Anyhow onto the last chapter…  and Review, pretty please with Spike on top… **…** **Tara**

**It's always sudden.******

Death is always sudden, maybe not in the physical sense, from the day we're born we start to die… but psychologically it's always sudden.   
  
When my mother died, it felt like the whole world had just dropped away, leaving me swimming alone in a sea of confusion. For months I knew she was dying - I cried myself to sleep every night, dreading the world without her in it. But it wasn't until she died that I finally realised… I would never see her again. 

The feeling was so abrupt…

  
When that happened I got a bit… wild I guess. I skipped school, ignored my friends, and stayed out all night. The school called a grief counsellor and I sat through endless sessions trying to deal with my grief.   
  
It wasn't the counsellor that got me going back to school, it was the thought of having to stay in town and ending up like my mother, dying at home with a husband she hated. Her dreams draining away like an old dishwasher.   
  
I fled the hell I called home and started a new life at UC Sunnydale, trying to forget my old life and my supposed demon half.

In the later days of my joining the Scooby gang, when I become more that just 'Willows Girlfriend', I found something that I thought was lost with my mother. 

Love. Friendship. Security.

A big part of that was Joyce.

Now Joyce is gone too… another mother lost…

Joyce was the mother none of us had; she is what made our quirky family whole.

With her hot chocolates and invitations to chat anytime.

Her warm smiles and knowing eyes, that saw so much but realised so little.

So I sit here, in this hospital beside a numb Buffy. I know that this death could rip her apart, leave her scrabbling to pick up the lost pieces, broken memories.

And I hope that we will survive…

_Author's Note: well this has been a lovely experience. In several years I will walk down memory lane and reminisce about the late nights I spent with this story. Ahhhhhh, nostalgic times they will be. I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed because um, reviews are quite effulgent, you know. And thanks go out to Rosie cos she's my little bottle of methylated spirits... kissed and bites to her_


End file.
